As soon as the cable guy came in the house, I wanted him gone. As he was finishing up he asked if I was from Carson City. When I replied that no, I wasn't, he said I reminded me of someone's mom--this guy he used to play football with. At this point, I wish he had never shown up.
Later I told Erica about it. Her reply: As if you need to hear that. Did you tell him, "Hey. Bucko. Do you realize that I wear yellow plaid pants with combat boots and jump on the couches when my kids are at school, pretending that i'm twenty? Huh? Yeah. "
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6 comments:
NICE! That's quote of the day material! Man kids have great minds.
And why is it that those guys are all so weird. We had one come out to fix our high speed internet and he called himself Grimace because he was hungry and on his way to McDonalds. "Hi, my name is Grimace and I am here to fix your internet." - Said in a monotone voice.
Cable guys live under bridges and avoid goats.
HVAC repair folks are marginally hotter.
"Looks like someone intentionally jammed a fork in your thermostat. Yep, that's the problem."
Yeah, anything to get you to track your sexy filthy boots all over my carpet.
I'm running out of room at home. How can I get the UPS guy to show up and not actually bring anything?
I hope they were camouflage yellow plaid pants. OMG MOM'S IN THE SUNFLOWERS AND HWAT HAPPENED TO HER LEGS?!
MOM MOM MOM I FINALLY UNDERSTAND SOPHIE'S WORLD
I'll never get back to the farmhouse now...
It occurs to me now that the dude is a frikkin' eejit. (Duh, cable guy.) But even beyond cable guy eejit. This guy has nothing to do all day but hone his woo-me-a-cup-of-coffee skills and he can't even do that. READ TEH FXN SIGNALS, FELLA. If you must do the mom thing, try "If you don't mind me sayin' so, miss, you remind me of my best friend's mom back when I was six or seven..." then just slackjaw for a moment and maybe drool a bit before coming back to yourself "Sorry I don't know what came over me"
LOOK I KNOW IT'S AWFUL BUT I'M NOT THE CABLEGUY AND I DON'T GET MUCH CHANCE TO PRACTICE
yellow pants i'm off to look at 50s adverts for kitchenware
or hotel bar or something
dear comcast
your technicians (i use the term loosely) need tips on the finer points of residential ogling
and not in a threatening way, but in an affirmative way
ps
all ur tv sux
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